A letter to my wife.
Yakshan: Virtue (Dharma), Artha (profit) and Kaama (desire) are opposed to each other; how can they co-exist harmoniously?
Yudhisthira: They can co-exists only if a person has a virtuous wife.
The concept of அறம் (Virtuousness), பொருள் (Material), and இன்பம் (Pleasure) plays a huge part in everyone’s life. And many great literature talks about this in depth, one such is Thirukkural, one of my favorites. If you give some thought, just like how the Yakshan had asked in Mahabharata, “these three seems to always be opposed to each other, how can they co-exist together harmoniously?” The answer that Yudhisthira gave is such an amazing answer, which personally made me think deeply. And what he said was “They can co-exist together in harmony if a man only has a virtuous wife”.
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My dearest love,
I pen this letter as a mere preface to express the depth of your significance in my life and the sheer blessing I feel. To be completely honest, I find myself uncertain about my readiness for marriage, unsure if I will ever be prepared. However, in this moment, I cannot help but reflect upon the considerable distance I have traversed on my life's path. And it is with utmost confidence that I envision our extraordinary journey ahead solely because of “you”. Our individual aspirations have melded into shared objectives, every personal secret now belongs to us both, and my identity merges with yours while yours merges with mine.
My beloved partner, let us make a solemn vow to lead a life brimming with love and purpose. Undoubtedly, we will encounter moments of great joy and times of challenge. However, let us ensure that we always stand united, facing every situation hand in hand. We are bound to make mistakes and occasionally test each other's patience, but these experiences will only serve to strengthen our bond. Regardless of what may come our way, let us make a firm commitment to cherish the simple pleasures in life. It seems fitting for me to recall the words of one of my favorite poets, Bharathiyar, which resonate deeply:
பாயும் ஒளி நீ எனக்கு, பார்க்கும் விழி நான் உனக்கு
தோயும் மது நீ எனக்கு, தும்பி அடி நான் உனக்கு
வாய் உரைக்க வருகுதில்லை வாழி நின்றன் மேன்மை எல்லாம்
தூய சுடர் வான் ஒளியே சூறை அமுதே கண்ணம்மா!
For readers: The first stanza of the poem roughly translates to, “You are my source of light, and I’m your eyes which captures it to enable vision. You are my purest form of honey, and I'm your bee who is always attracted to you. My dear, I am speechless! May all your goodness prosper till time. Finally, Oh my darling, my pristine and lustrous light in the form of an ever-flowing nectar. And the poem continues with some amazing verses. And here is one of my favourite renditions by the artist Bombay Jayasri as here.
I aim to narrate our story from the very beginning, intertwining it with selected Thirukkural verses that embody the principles of அறம் (Virtuousness), பொருள் (Material), and இன்பம் (Desire), symbolizing my heartfelt aspirations and unwavering dedication to our family.
அறம் (Virtuousness)
அன்பும் அறனும் உடைத்தாயின் இல்வாழ்க்கை
பண்பும் பயனும் அது. (திருக்குறள் 45)
The level of affection and virtue within a household is a testament to the character and purpose of our family. We both acknowledge that the values we uphold collectively and the love we bestow upon each other form the very bedrock of our familial bonds. Everything else we strive for and derive pleasure from stems from this foundation. Together, driven by a strong sense of purpose, we aspire to make a positive impact on our family, extended family, friends, and society as a whole, all while nurturing an unwavering affection for one another. With such a harmonious combination, I am confident that we will lead a truly fulfilling and gratifying life. Here are a few more Thirukkural verses that eloquently speak to the essence of purpose:
இல்வாழ்வான் என்பான் இயல்புடைய மூவர்க்கும்
நல்லாற்றின் நின்ற துணை. (திருக்குறள் 41)
துறந்தார்க்கும் துவ்வா தவர்க்கும் இறந்தார்க்கும்
இல்வாழ்வான் என்பான் துணை. (திருக்குறள் 42)
தென்புலத்தார் தெய்வம் விருந்தொக்கல் தானென்றாங்கு
ஐம்புலத்தா றோம்பல் தலை. (திருக்குறள் 43)
பொருள் (Material)
குடியென்னுங் குன்றா விளக்கம் மடியென்னும்
மாசூர மாய்ந்து கெடும். (திருக்குறள் 601)
மடியை மடியா ஒழுகல் குடியைக்
குடியாக வேண்டு பவர். (திருக்குறள் 602)
நெடுநீர் மறவி மடிதுயில் நான்கும்
கெடுநீரார் காமக் கலன். (திருக்குறள் 605)
In this materialistic world, financial stability plays a crucial role in sustaining any family. However, there is one formidable adversary that can undermine not only our own family but any family: laziness, which breeds only stagnation. While we are bound to face challenging times, guided by the virtuous principles that form the bedrock of our foundation and with your unwavering support, we are committed to defeating procrastination, neglect, laziness, and indolence. This determination will ensure our family's advancement and prosperity, allowing us to utilize our wealth wisely through both spending and investments.
இன்பம் (Pleasure)
கண்டுகேட்டுண்டுயிர்த் துற்றறியும் ஐம்புலனும்
ஒண்டொடி கண்ணே உள. (திருக்குறள் 1101)
As a human being, I am endowed with five senses that enable me to experience the pleasures of this world. Every form of enjoyment I derive is filtered through one or more of these senses: sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch. It is truly remarkable to acknowledge that you, and only you, have the ability to become the source of happiness for all my senses. My photography endeavors may captivate my eyes, my music playlist may enthrall my ears, and so forth, but none can compare to the profound joy that you bring to each and every one of my senses. It is a testament to your immeasurable value in my life and the abundant blessings I am fortunate to receive.
In conclusion, I would like to remind the question and answer from Yaksha Prashna again:
Yakshan: Virtue (Dharma), Artha (profit) and Kaama (desire) are opposed to each other; how can they co-exist harmoniously?Yudhisthira: They can co-exists only if a person has a virtuous wife.
I am proud of the extraordinary life we will create together, and even before we embark on this journey, I want to express that you will be the primary reason for the well-being and success of our family, where a harmonious balance between அறம் (Virtuousness), பொருள் (Material), and இன்பம் (Pleasure) will prevail. To conclude appropriately, I would like to share a sentence that I have dedicated to my mother and to this Earth.
"You know what, I yearn to embrace you tightly and shed tears like a fool. Not because I am sad or broken, but because I simply cannot comprehend what I have done to deserve your unwavering love and unwavering support."
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Yours lovingly
Anirudh K Muralidhar
Note: I strongly encourage the readers to check out the exact meaning of the posted Thirukkurals. And unfortunately I could not get the Sanskrit version of the Yaksha Prashan quotes due to font issue, hence typed it in English itself.
